I really need to learn to truly treasure each moment.

I've said this before but this morning the truthfulness of it hit me hard.  Sometimes I deal with things by not dealing with them.  I just ignore it in hopes that it will go away I guess.

This morning I learned of my cousin's passing (death is such a strong word..).  His name is Derek, although we called each other "Kuzz".  He has been living in Stockton, California for many years, near his parents.  He just turned 31 last month and has been fighting cancer for a couple months.  It started in his leg and spread quickly to his lungs and into his brain.

He passed at 4:30 this morning.  I was immediately hit with the reality of the situation.  Even through everything that has happened, it wasn't until this morning that I understood the brutal reality of death.  It just isn't the same when it's someone you don't know very well.  But when you do, it puts a hole in your heart.  You realize that you won't be able to talk to this person like you used to, won't see this person like you used to, won't be able to make more memories or continue the traditions already set in place.

I've realized some flaws of mine.  The things that have come to light are painful, as they normally are.  But I guess I should take this new information about myself and apply it where time has not expired, as every experience in life bears the fruit of something to be learned.  Overcoming our shortcomings isn't easy, but that's where the beautiful gift of the Atonement of Jesus Christ comes in to play here.  I have resolved today again to become a better person from this day forward.  The how is usually the tricky part.  I'll be asking for much help, especially in that aspect.

I've also realized things regarding my family that make me very sad and at this point I only wish for them to understand my point of view, or not even that but at least to respect it and me.  I think family is supposed to be on the same page, and when you put on a fake face that seems a little facade-ous to me.  Unity ceases to exist on that level.

Live life while you have it; make memories while you still can.

It's not about how many people you can love, but learning how to love the ones who are harder to love.

Treasure each moment.

...especially when you don't feel like it.

Those times seem to be often for me.  I'm trying to learn to appreciate each moment and accept each unknown situation, however small.  I tend to not pick up the phone or respond to chat messages...

I'm sorry Kuzz.

You really were a good buddy of mine.

I wish I would have made more of the friendship while I could.

Now there's nothing I can do in this life with that relationship.  I'll have to wait.

Miss you Kuzz... but you're in a better place now.  <3

I'm so excited about life!

Sooo...

In December I'll get my Arizona General Education Certificate in Liberal Arts.  I'll finally be graduated!  But I'm still going after that...  Child Development!  The plan is to have that associates degree at the end of next next Spring.  Spring 2011.

Alsoooo, I'm going to sign up real soon here for NYIP - New York Institute of Photography.  It's completely home-based.  The main course there covers alllll sorts of photography stuff-- different kinds of photos, angles, portraits, sports shots, whatever; the business of photography; equipment; lots and lots of great info.  You have up to 3 years to complete the course, but I think most people finish between 8 months to a year.  It sounds great!

Annnnndddddd...  I just signed up to be a Premier Designs jeweler!  I'm so excited to do it.  The jewelry is beautiful, I can promote my "business" every day just by wearing the awesome stuff they have!  It's a great company and will be lots of fun, just hangin' out with the girls!  The company was founded on a religious and spiritual base, so they aren't out to get lots and lots of money for themselves but to help others!  I love the idea of being my own boss.  That's definitely something I would thrive on.  It's going to be great!  I'm so excited.  SO excited!

Oh my goodness.  And General Conference is this weekend.  We're taking the trip up there, me, my sister, Becky, Shaela, and Mandi.  It's going to be such a wonderful trip.  The Spirit is so great and so strong up there in Salt Lake City when everyone from everywhere gathers together to hear the voice of the prophet of the Lord, His mouthpiece!  And all the wonderful authorities and leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, who are equally inspired.  And wintertime is beautiful.  I can't believe it's already this weekend.  We leave in 2 days!!  Wow!  I love going to Conference!!  =)

You have to have a vision for your life before you can go anywhere.

Playing with photos in the shop

Okay, so I can't help it.  I'm addicted to staying up late, especially if there's a good movie on!  Remember the Titans is SUCH a good movie!!!  Well, I got started playing with effects and stuff on an online photo editor, and this is what happened!

This is the original photo...

And then I self-corrected the exposure, sharpness and color...

Annndddddd then I got to playing.  =)  I don't know which I like best!

Actually I think I like this last one the best.

This is fun!  =D

I'm learning to be crafty!

Look at me, being all crafty!  I made these two pairs of earrings tonight.  For only $25!  A friend of mine taught a free workshop at the bead store she works at.  I love them!  I'm so excited to wear them!  Work tomorrow, church on Sunday, work again all next week.....  Okay I won't over-do it but they really are cute and fun!  I feel so accomplished.  I love being crafty!  Creating.  Consider my Thursday nights taken...  It's craft night!

I should be working...

I pulled my left leg's quad muscle last Thursday night at indoor soccer.  It was fun but the whole injured thing wasn't such a great idea.  By Friday night it was not even close to being healed and playing in my soccer game didn't help at all.  I play on a co-ed team and the minumum girl players required on the field is 5, and that's apparently about how many girls show up each week.  So no subs for us girls.  Needless to say my leg hurt pretty bad.  But I didn't have much of a choice but to run on it anyway!  It's still sore...  All I have to say is that it better be ready for the game on Friday, or else I'm afraid it won't ever heal!

I found out last Friday that I'm only ONE class away from getting an associates degree!  That's quite the accomplishment for me since I've changed my major a few times and thus thought that it wouldn't be for another year or so before I finally had something concrete to show for all this time of going to school.  Good thing I went in and talked to a counselor!  I'll take History 101 this semester as an 8-week class and in December I will be graduated with an AGEC in Liberal Arts.  FINALLY.  At least it's something transferrable. I still want to get at least an associates in Child Development to maybe one day open a day care, maybe even one day at a real facility!  I've also decided to develop my love of photography and take some classes about it to see if that's also something I would like to do as a profession.  I think it sounds kind of cliche, but I guess to everyone thier own lives always do.

I've recently decided to become a jewelry consultant for Premier Designs.  I'm really excited about it!  And a little nervous.  I think it's going to be a fun on-the-side job for me.  I'm filling out all the paperwork within a couple days and my training show is next month.  I feel a little silly but I'm really kind of excited!  This is going to be fun!

Back to work I suppose...

Here's a little su'm su'm...

Before and After

Yikes!  This was about 5 weeks worth of zero shaving.  The hair got to be almost 1 and a half centimeters!